Confessions: Why I’m Not a Food Blogger

Here is a link to a recipe that looks even better than the one I used, but since I didn’t follow that one either, I’ll leave that assessment up to you.

Okay, confession time. The photo here illustrates why I am not, and will never be, a food blogger–not even a bad one. What is it about that one photo, you ask? Here’s a hint: it’s the ONLY photo. I always forget to take photos while I’m cooking. Many of the photos on the Fair Shares recipes are close-ups, not because it looks appealing, but because I already ate half of it before realizing I didn’t take the picture.

What would make me a terrible food blogger is not just my lack of remembering to document the process with photos. It isn’t that I cook based on what I have only from Fair Shares or what is already at my house. If you really need it spelled out further, read on…

I am a lazy, lazy cook. I hate following recipes because it’s too much work. I’ll read through a recipe and as soon as I get to a part I don’t feel like doing, I move on to the next recipe. Sometimes I look at the ingredients, and once I see that it calls for something I don’t have, or don’t feel like processing, I move on. I skip steps. I improvise incessantly. 

I have never made the same dish twice. I could no sooner test and perfect a recipe than I could understand the tax code or remove your kidney stones. It’s not that I couldn’t do it if I put my mind to it, it’s that I would never put my mind to it because I’m lazy and I don’t care. My affliction has pros and cons:

– I am not intimidated in the kitchen.
– I have learned what works and what doesn’t–techniques as well as flavor combinations–through years of trial and error.
– I can make a complete meal out of nothing.
– I can make up a recipe for the newsletter not really having tested it, and members tell me it was really good.

– I have to make up recipes for the newsletter without having really tested it.
– I never have photos to go with these #FakeRecipes
– I have eaten many mediocre and boring meals because I never go to the grocery store.
– I may never experience the joys of eating a dish from someone’s tried and true recipe.

Perhaps one day I will compile a cookbook worthy of the The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR), a real publication I’ve admired since my brewing days at Schlafly. I read an article in the Technical Quarterly Brewers Magazine that was submitted from the JIR, documenting how chocolate repeatedly falls to the bottom and floats to the top when dropped into a glass of beer, due to the CO2 and nucleation sites. Zzzz. Oops, did I lose you? Good stuff–and much more interesting than tax code, IMHO.